Leaning Into Love…and Grace During the Holidays

A few years ago, I wrote an article about Leaning into Love during the holidays—specifically, how to love someone who is struggling with addiction. It resonated deeply with many of you, because loving someone through their pain is an act of courage, commitment, and resilience.

This year, however, I feel the need to expand that message. This year, we’re not only leaning into love…We’re leaning into love and grace.

The Holidays: A Season of Joy, Sadness, and Everything In Between

For many of us, the holiday season is both beautiful and heartbreaking. Lights twinkle, families gather, and traditions bring warmth—but right beneath the surface, grief often quietly lingers.

We are all on a grief journey of some kind. And depending on where you are in that journey, you may find your emotions showing up differently this year:

• You may suddenly feel the weight of everything you will never experience with your loved one.

• You may find yourself becoming more irritable, easily overwhelmed, or wanting distance from the people you love.

• You may notice old wounds resurfacing or new layers of sadness emerging.

  
  

None of this makes you weak, wrong, or unloving. It makes you human.

And it is important to remember: the people around you may also be grieving—just in their own ways.

When Grief Affects Relationships

Balancing your own grief with the needs of your loved ones is incredibly hard. Grief is not linear. It doesn’t care about the calendar. It doesn’t pause for holidays or celebrations.

This tension can cause misunderstandings:

• One person wants connection, while another needs space.

• One wants to reminisce, while another can’t bear to reopen memories.

• One expresses grief quietly, while another expresses it in frustration or withdrawal.

  
  

This is why navigating the season requires intentional communication—and a willingness to extend grace not only to others but also to ourselves.

Leaning Into Love and Grace

To lean into love is to stay connected through compassion. To lean into grace is to allow yourself and others the permission to be exactly where they are—even when it’s messy.

Here are a few ways to lean into both during the holidays:

1. Communicate Your Needs with Honesty and Kindness

You don’t have to pretend to be okay. Letting others know what you need—space, connection, quiet, help—reduces confusion and brings clarity.

2. Allow Others to Grieve Differently

No two grief journeys look the same. Honor each person’s rhythm without judgment.

3. Offer Yourself Grace for the Hard Moments

If you’re irritable, tired, overwhelmed, or emotional—pause. Take a breath. Remind yourself: This is part of the journey, and I’m allowed to feel this.

4. Set Boundaries That Protect Your Heart

You can love others deeply while still protecting your well-being. Your needs matter too.

5. Choose Moments of Love—Even Small Ones

A gentle word. A shared memory. A quiet cup of coffee together. Small acts of love soften the hardness of grief.

You Are Not Alone

Whether you are loving someone through addiction, coping with loss, or simply trying to hold yourself together during a complicated season—your feelings are valid.

Love and grace do not remove grief. But they do help us carry it.

And as we move through this holiday season, may we remember:

We can hold joy and sorrow at the same time. We can love others while grieving ourselves. We can offer grace even when emotions run high. We can extend compassion even when we’re hurting.

This season, may you lean into love. May you lean into grace. And may you find moments of peace tucked gently between the heaviness and the hope.

#LoveAlways,

Laura Dahl

Psalm 34:18 –

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”